She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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