So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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