My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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