she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
