Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
