ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You're like the curious george of whores
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
