I'm so fucking centered right now
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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