I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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