Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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