I cockslap morals
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
