That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
