Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
