No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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