OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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