Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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