I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
