There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I could fuck to npr.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
