My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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