The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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