which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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