I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
