I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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