Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
