your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
