did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Someone came in the potted fern
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
