She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
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I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh god it's open bar.
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