is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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