This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
