He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
