He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
