We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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