Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
