You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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