You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
P.S. I can't hear my feet
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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