She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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