He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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