I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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