hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
