Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
