Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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