I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
