no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
