I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just forgot I was standing up.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
