party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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