i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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