everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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