why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
