I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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