New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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