Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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