I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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