I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
