I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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