All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
