i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
