Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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