Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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