STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
