they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
