he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
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i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize