You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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