I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
