forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
