Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
