I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
