I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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