Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize