I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
