So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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