so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
