I bet he comes in French.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
