I'm really into asian looking animals
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
