I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
