Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize