Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
