That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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