he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
